Big Ten mascots

Kansas State's mascot is also named Wille the Wildcat. I'm not sure why I love Goldy so much. The Cornhuskers contended for championships when it first joined, but Bo Pelini was never able to get his teams over the hump. But Bucky is pantsless, and has been pantsless for a very long time. Where did the rest of its teeth go? Purdue Pete, with his hard hat and sledge hammer, is a perfectly acceptable mascot.

He works a tough job and has the muscles to show for it.

I want to review the design process for the folks who created the Nittany Lion. Why did you make your mascot look like every homeless cat that raids fast food dumpsters in the dark of night? It's a halfhearted attempt to look the part and try fitting in to the Big Ten, but falling short in every way — much like Rutgers' athletic department since joining the conference.Pete may be one of the nation's iconic mascots, but he scares my kids. Their reasoning isn't as eye-roll inducing as Michigan's, which is why they're a spot ahead of the Wolverines. Seems like a good time to ranks some mascots!I've decided to start by ranking the mascots from the nation's oldest conference, only to be reminded once again that three I've ranked the existing 11 Big Ten mascots from worst to first. Don't do it.I'm moving Herbie up one notch from last year on the basis that he's the only mascot in the country that pays homage to the school's fan base.

Nearly eight months that have felt like years as the nation tries to get over the hump of a global pandemic. Or maybe my brain somehow connects Goldy with one of the most underrated new traditions in all of college football:

Maybe it's that

Don't stare into his eyes.

Here's how the Big Ten's mascots line up in my eyes. You know him. That's the kind of  I hear you and respect your extremely biased opinions, but I just can't do it.

It also has four teeth.

He's great with the fans.

I can dig it, but in reality, if he wasn't the mascot for one of the most high-profile athletic departments in the country, he'd get laughed at by more than just Michigan fans.

Willie the Wildcat isn't even unique to Northwestern. Prev .

Indiana used to trot It literally looks like a neglected, disheveled cat that ran away from home and hasn't seen its family in months. You love him. There's a Big Ten mascot brawl: Here's who'd be left standing. It's as if he's telling Colin Cowherd to "Come get some." Way to be original, nerds. For all the ups and downs Ohio State fans have had with Michigan's 

Look at that thing. 10 spot ahead of Penn State on the basis of the appearance of cleanliness. Spend some cash and update this mess.Willie remains in the No.

For that reason, I've dropped him down the list.Bucky is probably the safest mascot the Big Ten has. Much like the football program, Indiana offers us and the Big Ten nothing here. He represents the brand. You can't play in the Big Ten, collect those Big Ten TV dollars and then march out a mascot that looks like you got a steal during half-off day at the Goodwill.

Michigan can't be associated with such nonsense like  Let's find out where your favorite stuffed cartoon landed on the list.I gave much consideration to moving this guy out of the basement after being bombarded by Penn State fans and media with arguments about how involved and active he is.

Poor effort from a quality institution.Goldy doesn't have any obvious flaws outside of the fact that he's pretty much a walking, kid-friendly cartoon.

So coming in dead last is Michigan, which is so pompous that they don't believe they need a live mascot because it's "

There isn't much to him in the way of an intimidation factor.

Here's how the Big Ten's mascots line up in my eyes. It's like the official Rutgers mascot is some frat boy who stole the helmet off Michigan State's Sparty, colored it red and tossed on a block "R" t-shirt. He's mean. Pages in category "Big Ten Conference mascots" The following 12 pages are in this category, out of 12 total.

He's not wearing any armor outside of his helmet.

Bucky itself resembles a Badger, realistic representations help here. He dresses for the occasion. His face is a Michael Myers-Chucky hybrid, and he roams the sidelines carrying what amounts to be a potential murder weapon. He's got a middle-of-the-road quality to him that's tough to pick apart, much like Wisconsin's football team.Look, it's a turtle, and it could be really bad, but it's not.

He's great with the band. I also want to ask... just... why? He's the only mascot that you could build a horror movie franchise around.

The 2020 season is a little over a month away from kicking off, and words can't express how desperately we need that to happen on schedule.

Nebraska's mascot is apparently a fan who lives west of Lincoln in a small town. They don't do a whole lot right in College Park outside of the sport of basketball, but for having a turtle as their mascot, they've maximized their potential in the category.Herky is a five-tool player.

It's been nearly eight months since we watched Joe Burrow and LSU crush Clemson into a very fine powder in the College Football Playoff National Championship Game.

14 Michigan: The Wolverine So coming in dead last is Michigan, which is so pompous that they don't believe they need a … He doesn't look angry.

He'd be the final result of something a machine would produce if you fed it generic information about mascots. Stand the turtle up on two legs, dress him in school colors, and make him fire up the crowd and annoy opposing fans.

While it wouldn't be my first or even 100th choice for a mascot, it's visually non-offensive and is weirdly accurate of the team's inability to keep pace with the Big Ten blue bloods. What more could you want? That doesn't take any shine away from Herbie, the only Big Ten mascot to wear jeans to work. In reality, he's just a nut, but he also resembles an Ohio State frat boy who let his hair and sideburns grow and become one with his metro-logger hipster beard.

Herky is Iowa. Realignment wasn't the kindest to the Big Ten // stares murderously at Rutgers and Maryland // but Nebraska's inclusion has been more than fine.

And that's where the positives stop.